


Recovered Happiness

by hoshidaily



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But not coming from the members, Everyone takes care of Soonyoung, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Soonyoung will be alright
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26613379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoshidaily/pseuds/hoshidaily
Summary: Kwon Soonyoung is missing. Everyone is trying to figure things out. Happiness will be restored. It's a promise.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Kim Mingyu/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Everyone, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Chan | Dino, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 23
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

“What do you mean he has gone missing?” 

It did not make any sense. Soonyoung was just right here in their home, talking animatedly to Jihoon about his tiger pillow. It was supposed to be in the laundry but he did not want to be sleeping without it. Jihoon had shaken his head at the remarks and kept ignoring him when he tried to persuade Jihoon to accompany him to bed instead. It is almost a routine for them, bickering here and there then proceed with a cuddle session. Jihoon said he hates it, but Soonyoung knows better. 

It was just an hour ago when Soonyoung finally decided to leave Jihoon alone after pestering him around. Jihoon knew that it was about this time Soonyoung went to bed. So why did Jeonghan hyung come to his room and said that the very person is missing?

“I don’t know… you know how he would come to my room and ask for a hug before bed every time right? I was waiting for him while being on the phone but he never come. When I went to check on him in his room, he… wasn’t there.”

Without Jihoon realised, he already started walking towards Soonyoung’s room and true to Jeonghan’s word, there was no Soonyoung in sight. There was only Chan, sitting on Soonyoung’s bed while hugging the dear tiger pillow that did not end up in the washer. He looked very troubled by he situation. “I already checked the whole house and he is not in the other dorm too. I told the rest of the members to gather there and asked them to reach out and call any other people who might be in contact with Soonyoung. Seungcheol already called the manager. They are sorting things out for our schedule tomorrow.” Joshua came in from behind him. “I’m going to be honest. Everyone is freaking out.” 

Of course they would freak out. It was not like Soonyoung to suddenly disappear like this without informing any of them. He was the one who stressed on the importance of keeping in touch with each other in case of emergency. “You didn’t tell his family yet right?” 

“Of course not. At least not yet. We don’t want to create unnecessary attention to other people. It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet. But I’m worried.”

Jihoon tried to think of any way that would lead them to Soonyoung. Did Soonyoung say anything to him in the morning? Was there any sign of his possible disappearance throughout the day he spent his time with him? Any thing at all to help them to find Soonyoung.

“Wait, Jeonghan hyung, I think I know a way. Previously, I played a game with Soonyoung that required him to download a gps system. I think my phone might still be connected to his phone right now.” All of their faces brighten at that statement. “Let me check it first.”

Pulling out his phone form his pocket, he prayed that he still have the app installed. Darn it Soonyoung… Where the hell are you…

“Yes! I found him. He’s at the factory near Hanggang Street. Why the heck is he there?” Jihoon check the address again. The pointer clearly showed where Soonyoung might be and it was situated exactly at the factory building. “Share the location to Seungcheol. We’ll need a car, so we’ll have the driver bring us to the place. Jihoon, you’ll stay he-”

“No, I want to go. “

“Jihoon, we need someone to check on the kids and be here if we need anything. Let me and Seungcheol search for Soonyoung. Joshua is handling the kids in the other dorm. I think you need to stay here if Soonyoung suddenly come backhome. Who knows. That may happen after we go out.”

Jihoon knew it was reasonable that he stayed. He was one of the older members that most of their little brothers listened to and received instructions well. Maybe because he used to direct and give guidance during recording session. He might be a help to get the members to calm down a bit. However, he desperately in need of reassurance himself from Soonyoung about his situation. He could not bear waiting at the side while the hyungs went to get Soonyoung back to their home. He could not just stay still. He needs to do something. 

Junhui came into the room with a glass of water in his right hand. “I can stay here instead. I’m alright with taking care of them,” said Junhui as he sat down next to Chan. He gave the glass to Chan and he drank it gratefully. “Okay. If you are okay with it, please stay with them alright, Junnie? Make sure they are here together. We don’t want more people to be missing.” Joshua gave a pat to Junhui’s shoulder and a gentle smile to their youngest. 

The ride to the destination had been tensed. The silence was already killing Jihoon, so when they finally arrived, he immediately went out of the car and lead them straight to the entrance of the factory. The surrounding of the small factory was nothing remotely scary. There were lights everywhere and Jihoon even spotted a security booth at the end of the road. “It’s locked. Try to check the windows over there.” 

The lights from outside could not reach the windows for Jihoon to see clearly but he instantly caught sight of the phone on the table near the the big steel shelves. It was not just any phone. It was definitely Soonyoung’s because of the tiger casing that he got for himself two weeks ago. But where is he?

“Oh God… I, I think that’s Soonyoung.” Jihoon’s heart skipped a beat after hearing Jeonghan’s trembling voice at the other window beside him. 

Like a bullet, he went to Jeonghan’s side. A body was lying on the floor. The blond hair was not mistaken as someone else. That’s definitely Soonyoung…. and he is unconscious with torn clothes and no pants. 

“Everyone, back away! I’m going to break the window,” screamed Seungcheol. He threw away the heavy brick that he found as hard as he can. Shattered glass were everywhere, but Seungcheol did not care as he jumped over the broken window. Jeonghan followed him right behind him. “Jihoon, call the security. Get the key from them.”

Jihoon just stood there. He was not even moving. He just stared at Seungcheol trying to wake Soonyoung up while covering his bared body with his jacket. Jeonghan searched for the switch to put on the lights near them. As the lights shined on Soonyoung, they could see the scratches and bruises all over Soonyoung's body. The right corner of his lips was torn and his eyes were puffy with tear stains on his cheeks. Jihoon’s mind refused to accept what was happening in front of him. “Jihoon, please listen to me. You need to stay alert for the time being. For Soonyoung, okay?” Joshua shook his body. "Jihoon!"

Alright. He could do this. He just need to call for help to get the door open so that they could bring out Soonyoung and they will be back safe in their home. He could do that. 

‘Please be okay, Soonyoung,’ his mind wandered as he made a turn and ran to the security facility.


	2. Chapter 2

Jeonghan tried to keep the unconscious Soonyoung warm by hugging him close to his side. He put the back of his hand on Soonyoung’s forehead to check if he got any fever. ‘He is not sick but his body is covered with sweat. He’s shivering a little too.’

They are on their way to the dorm. Seungcheol already informed one of their other managers that they already found Soonyoung. He let them know that they should call their private doctor to visit them and explained further regarding their situation.

“Can you please tell the members to not crowd around Soonyoung when we get back later? I don’t know whether he would like that when he wakes up.” There was a short silence after that. “I’ll explain the details later. Soonyoung is our priority right now.”

Seungcheol took a glimpse at Soonyoung in the back-seat. Jeonghan had been tending Soonyoung ever since they got into the car. He gave a rather small smile towards Jeonghan and Jeonghan gave it back. 

Jeonghan realised that Seungcheol might want to be beside Soonyoung too. But their leader always think about the betterment of the members. They are his top priorities. So, he always put on a facade and be the strong one to protect them. 

Back in their trainee says, he had a heart-to-heart conversation once with Jeonghan. Just the two of them. “I’m going to be their shield in anything,” he said proudly. “It’s fine if it’s just from the background. I love you guys so much to care about the credit.”

Jeonghan already knew what Seungcheol was thinking. He was trying to fix things as best as he could. It was possible that he already contacted not only their private medical team, but even a psychologist too for Soonyoung’s need of a therapy. They were very good with this kind of silent conversation between them, including Joshua. Maybe because they are the eldest, it was just a common trait that they have and already mastered to protect the kids.

When Jeonghan looked at Jihoon sitting at the front of his seat, he could not help but to let out a sigh. Jihoon had been quiet since he called up the security earlier. He just stared at them when they tried to move Soonyoung into the car the whole time. 

Never spoken a word when they made exchange with the guard and the police officer arrived at the scene. Did not even argue when they tried to convince the law enforcement agency to let them bring Soonyoung into their dorm instead of the hospital. They did not want Soonyoung to be stressed out with the situation. They even have their own medical team from their agency. So it’s better to have this incident as private as it can be. 

The manager stopped the car near the main entrance. Seungcheol immediately went out of the car and moved to the car door near Jeonghan. “I’ll carry him. You and Joshua get the lift ready.”

As they waited for the lift to bring them to the 8th floor, Jeonghan heard a grunt. Seungcheol was carrying Soonyoung like he was carrying a child. An arm wrapped around Soonyoung’s shoulders with his head near Seungcheol’s neck and the other arm wrapped under both knees. It took seconds for Jeonghan to realise that the grunt was not from Seungcheol. It was from Soonyoung.

“Is he waking up?” said Jihoon for the first time in awhile. “I think he’s waking up. We better get inside quickly.”

As soon as the lift’s doors opened, they hurried their steps to their house. Soonyoung was stirring in his sleep, so Seungcheol let his head fell into his own neck to give some comfort. “I’m here Soonyoung. Your hyung is here.”

Jeonghan keyed in the password to their locked door with hasty hand. When they got inside, the other nine members were already in the living room. Wonwoo was the first one who sat up from sitting on the couch. “How is he doing?” 

“He’s fine. At least for now. We need to put him on the bed,” said Jeonghan with a low voice. “I know everyone wants to see him more closely but I thin it is best for us not to crowd him. “He has gone through…” a sigh escaped from Jeonghan’s mouth, “…a lot.”

“Let me prepare the bed. Manager hyung called earlier. The doctor will arrive soon,” said Wonwoo.

However, a sob was heard in the room, making Wonwoo froze on his feet. He turned back to look at Soonyoung who seemed to be full a wake now.

And crying.

“Shh… Soonyoung, look at me.” Seungcheol cooed at him softly. He adjusted his hands to make it easy for Soonyoung to lift up his head while he was still carrying him. 

Soonyoung’s eyes were red and full of tears already. He blinked a lot as if to adjust his sight to see better. “This is me, Seungcheol. You’re at home now.” Sooyoung closed his eyes and opened them again. 

He turned his face slowly to look at his surrounding and found all of his members were there. Seungkwan and Seokmin were crying. Mingyu and Minghao looked concern. Vernon looked like he was seeing a ghost. Jun and Chan just stared at him. Wonwoo looked… he could not decipher his face. Jihoon, Jeonghan and Joshua looked rather… sad. And this is all happened because of him.

Soonyoung raised his hands and wrapped them around Seungcheol’s neck, clinging to him to hide his face. He could not stop himself from sobbing harder. This is all his fault. All of them are worried and sad because of him.

“Hey Soonyoung, you are alright. Let me just keep you comfy right now.”

Fast steps were taken by Seungcheol immediately after Soonyoung started to bury his face further into his neck. “I got you. We got you,” he whispered.

Wonwoo pulled the duvet back for Seungcheol to put Soonyoung on the bed. When Seungcheol tried to let go of Soonyoung to rearrange the poor boy into a more comfortable position, Soonyoung started to yell. “No! Don’t leave me alone, please, don’t leave me!” He put out his hands to reach out for Seungcheol.

Seungcheol who was already standing up, went back to sit on the bed and held Soonyoung close to his chest. “I’m not leaving, Soonie. I’m just trying to make you comfortable. Shh… I’ll be here.”

He propped himself up to leaned on the headboard. Soonyoung kept clinging on him, his face stayed buried in his neck and almost all of his body laid on Seungcheol’s very own. He never left his hands from circling Seungcheol’s waist, as if he was afraid that Seungcheol was going to vanish any time. 

“Please please please, do not leave me alone. They are going to get me. I d-don’t want to see t-them again,” he wept more.

Wonwoo was watching the whole scene in shock. He never seen his friend cried like that. It was so heartbreaking that he felt like he should not be here because he would cry with him. 

“Won, if it’s hard for you, you can go to the living room. We can take care of Soonyoung while waiting for the doctor to come,” Jeonghan whispered gently. 

Wonwoo just gave a small nod before leaving the bedroom to go to the common area. He stopped his walk and crouched down at the hallway right before the living room. 

Tears started to fall on his face. He put his palm on his mouth to stop himself from making loud sounds. He could still hear Soonyoung’s crying even when he was already out of the room. Why did this happen to his precious buddy?

Before Soonyoung arrived back to the house, their manager already informed the rest of them about the incident. How they found Soonyoung, what state he was in, what were the possible assaults that could happen to him…

They were all speechless when they heard the news. They could not believe what they were hearing. They could not even imagine what Soonyoung felt throughout the… he never finish that sentence.

All he knows is that if he ever finds that bastard who did this thing to Soonyoung, he would kill him. Without a doubt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to split this update into two chapters because it's too long. Next chapter will be up tomorrow. Comments and kudos are welcome!


	3. Chapter 3

Once Wonwoo felt like he had calmed himself, he rose up from his sitting and walked towards the living room. That was when he realised the rest of the members were anxious like him. 

Seokmin had not stopped crying but Seungkwan did stop, so that’s a good sign. Vernon was hugging both Chan and Mingyu. He was doing his best to cheer them up. For the rest of them, they were doing so much better. Mingyu freed himself from the hug when he spotted Wonwoo standing near them. “I want to see him too.” 

Wonwoo shook his head at him. “He’s in distress right now,” said Wonwoo. Mingyu heard that statement like he was being hit by a truck. His dear hyung is in distress?

Kwon Soonyoung was never in distress. Never. He might get emotional a bit when he stumbled into any unfair situation or got stuck with the making of new choreography. Nevertheless, he would always find ways to overcome his problems and never get the negative situation to get into his head. That’s why he is considered as the brightest person in their group. But getting into distress? Kwon Soonyoung?

“It’s better if we give him some space right now,” said Wonwoo further. “We want him to get better right?”

“Of course. But I really couldn’t see him right now?” asked Chan. Wonwoo did not even realise he was there with Mingyu when he was talking. “Even for awhile? Is he.... really in a bad shape?”

The concern was apparent on Chan’s face. Wonwoo should have known better. This is Chan, the person who Soonyoun regards as his youngest brother. They are not even real siblings, but their closeness cannot be deniable by anyone. Soonyoung would protect this guy his whole life. That’s why Soonyoung would always be Chan’s favourite. 

Wonwoo was not jealous per say. He was admired by their friendship with each other. Soonyoung is Wonwoo’s best friend. However, for Chan, Soonyoung is his saviour. His saviour who is in pain but now, he could not do anything about it. 

“We’ll hear more after the checkup with the doctor later. Then, we will help with all that we can.”

Ding dong. Ding dong.

The doorbell rang loudly. Vernon who was sitting on the couch and the nearest to the door monitor immediately went to see the screen camera. “Dr. Park is here. I’ll get the door.”

Once the doctor and two more nurses got inside the house with their manager, they exchanged short greetings with each other. They were carrying two big bags that Wonwoo expected to be loaded with medical equipment.  
Wonwoo led them towards Soonyoung’s room right after. However, he did not let himself stay inside the room. He still could not handle seeing Soonyoung in the same state before the doctor arrived. He needed something to wake up his tired mind. A cup of coffee would be great.

The kitchen was empty when he got there. Turning on the coffee machine and getting a cup from the shelves, he heard footsteps from behind the counter. Mingyu offered a hand to help prepare the coffee. “I’m making some for them too. Especially Seungkwan. He needs caffeine to feel better.”

Wonwoo sat on the counter while watching Mingyu working on the drinks. “Hey, hyung… Do you think Soonyoungie hyung will change after this?”

Mingyu’s voice became soft when he uttered the words. It was like he was afraid to ask but needed confirmation from someone. His hands had stopped pouring milk into the coffee. Mingyu already turned his back to the coffee machine.

Wonwoo pondered at the question. Will Soonyoung change? If he does change, will it be a good thing or… bad? Can they handle the shift of the nature of Kwon Soonyoung? 

“I don’t know Mingyu,” said Wonwoo. “What I can confidently say is that whatever happens in the future, I’m going to be there for him.” Wonwoo stared back at Mingyu. “We are going to be there for him through it all. He is our family no matter what.”

Mingyu finally smiled at that. He continued pouring the coffee into the prepared cups. Before he could even finish the task, a loud crash could be heard from outside the kitchen. 

Wonwoo instantly knew where it came from. "It's from Soonyoung's room." 

Mingyu did not even waste his time. He took long and quick steps towards Soonyoung's room.

"Mingyu, wait." 

When he reached the room, the scene in front of him was something that he never thought of seeing. The glass which Soonyoung held very dearly to his heart because of its orange and yellow stripes was already shattered beside the bed. The blanket was thrown away from the bed. Jeonghan looked terrified. 

More importantly, Soonyoung was staring horrifyingly towards the doctor. It was as if the doctor was a monster from his own nightmare. 

“Stay away! Stay away from me!” he screamed. His whole body was shaking and Jeonghan could not help himself but try to hold him in his arms again. “NO! Go away!”

Good Lord. Never in his life would he expect his lovely dongsaeng to reject him like that. Jeonghan freezed in his spot, standing awkwardly by the bed. Is this what Soonyoung would do again in the future? For him to not be able to touch his baby again?

“He is having a heavy reaction after a physical trauma. This is very normal in some cases,” stated the doctor, seemingly calm against the situation. He held his hands up as if to show Soonyoung that he meant no harm. “Soonyoung-ssi, this is me, Dr. Park. I am your doctor. These two are my nurses. They are my friends. We could help you feel better.”

“Get out of my room!” Soonyoung’s face was full-on red by now. The unshed tears were clear as daylight in his eyes.

The door of the room was blocked with some members wanting to know what the fuss was about. His scream just made them more anxious. The doctor took a deep breath.

“I’m going to walk towards you now. We are just going to give you some medicine to make you healthy again. Can you understand me?”

Dr. Park took small steps directly to Soonyoung while still keeping his hands up on each side of his head. Panicked began to rise up within Soonyoung’s mind. “Stop! Please stop!” When the doctor finally could grab both of his hands, he was crying profusely now. “No no no- NO!”

Jeonghan instinctively tried to get close to Soonyoung again. “Just stay outside or a while, Jeonghan-ssi. Let us handle this for now,” sadid the doctor. “Nurse Jooyoung, please bring all of them outside of the room. Less people in the room is better for now.”

When the nurse tried to guide him and Joshua out of the room, Joshua kept whispering soft words to his ear while patting his back.. “It’s okay Jeonghan. Soonyoung’s going to be well. The doctor will know what to do.”

The rest of the members were guided back to the living room too. The ready-made-coffee already forgotten in the kitchen. 

Mingyu was seen staring at nothing particular and Wonwoo just rested his head on top of the back pillows of the couch’s backrest. The positive energy which they had gained for a moment from their conversation earlier dispersed to nothingness. The same mood was reflecting to the other members. 

Behind the closed door of Soonyoung’s room, the scream was replaced with soft whimpers now from Soonyoung. After a long waiting time, the doctor finally came out of the room with one of the nurses. 

Although most of them were tired, they quickly sobered-up when they heard the creaking door opened. 

“He is saditated now. This would make him calm for some time. Let him sleep and rest as much as he can,” said the doctor to all of them. “Rest is the most important at this time. Please help him do anything that might tire himself but don’t be too restrictive too. Let him do what he wants as long as it is not harmful to himself.”

The doctor nodded mostly to himself to give assurance on the statement. “I already have all of the data needed to give to the lab and make some tests to confirm the results. However, I do have some insights of what is the possible diagnosis for this case,” he said carefully. “Would you like to know right here for all of you to listen to or do I just need to tell a representative?”

This was when Seungcheol kept his eyes on each of his members. Early of the year, they had a talk where all of them discussed their problems, unattain resolutions, future achievements they would want to gain and many more. One of the conversations was about how important communication is between them. 

All of them have decided that they would share all of their personal concerns to build trust and lessen the burden of the troubled person. Trust is so hard to achieve especially for a group that has many members. However, staying together for almost a decade now since middle school in a single apartment and now, having the ability to afford two apartments just showed their growth. They have become more successful and it is all because of their trust and teamwork to work on their life together regardless of their ages. No hierarchy here. Just a family.

So Seungcheol said to the doctor, “you can tell us all here. We can handle this together.”

Dr. Park explained the nature of the diagnosis that he could conclude. The early diagnosis would be a developing PTSD if the trauma was very severe. In regard to Soonyoung’s incident, he was physically close to the event which was a sexual assault by the proven bite marks, scratches on his body and the torn tissue in his private area. 

“Any injuries from the attack are documented. The lab would need some time to examine the biological evidence. You know, such as saliva or blood and maybe semen. We will get back to you when we are done with the tests.”

The doctor looked at each person inside the room and finally rested his sight on Seungcheol. “All of you have to be strong for Soonyoung. He will become easily emotional and feeling extremely fatigued or stressed most of the time. Give assurance that he is getting better. Be aware of his surroundings. I’ll talk to you more about it later after the diagnosis is confirmed.”

The doctor explained more about the recovery process and things they could help to support Soonyoung. The doctor only left when the sun was about to rise. 

They had decided to assign people to look after Soonyoung by taking shifts. A more accurate schedule would be set up after they took their rest for the day. At the moment, Joshua volunteered to be the first one to watch the sleeping Soonyoung. 

Jihoon and Seokmin volunteered to watch with him too, but were forced to take a break by Seuncheol after seeing them with their eyebags low on their faces. 

All of them took turns to look at Soonyoung’s sleeping form once before they quietly went to their respective rooms. Thankfully, Soonyoung was still asleep when they stayed in the room for a while. The heavy weight in their hearts lifted a bit watching Soonyoung in his dreamland. 

When Joshua was finally alone with Soonyoung, he sat down on the bed right beside him. Laid down a bit to his side, he leaned forward to give a kiss on his temple.

“Hyung promise to always be here for you, Soonyoung. I will protect you now,” whispered Joshua.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *  
> hyung = is used by men when addressing another man who is close to them  
> dongsaeng = is used when addressing younger person who is close to them  
> -ssi = added to a person's full name or just the first name in a polite speech  
> *


	4. Chapter 4

When Soonyoung opened his eyes, the familiar ceiling welcomed him with bright sunlight. When he tried to lift up his right hand, a sharp pain was felt through his wrist. He realised there was a white bandage around it. ‘When did I get a sprain…?’

Oh right. I am broken.

That thought just casually passed through his mind. He felt empty after comprehending that feeling. It was a simple conclusion that his consciousness settled on. 

He looked around his space and immediately spotted Joshua lying down on his right. He was sleeping peacefully. ‘Shua hyung has really long eyelashes. Pretty.’ 

When he tried to touch one of the eyelashes, Joshua’s eyes opened up. The owner of the eyes smiled at him with a pleased impression. “Hi there, Soonie. Feel better?”

Joshua’s contagious smile just brought a positive vibe to him and made him smile too. Joshua just brightened at the response. Although it was not a sunshine kind of smile that Soonyoung always wore before, it was a big achievement following the recent incident. 

“Are you thirsty? Hungry?” Joshua got himself closer to Soonyoung. Their arms touched each other and this comforted Soonyoung so much. He wanted more of it. 

“No… but can hug you? I just..” he could not explain it. “I don’t know. I just want to feel your presence right now.” 

As soon as the words escaped from Soonyoung’s mouth, Joshua put his left arm around Soonyoung’s shoulder. His other hand wrapped around his waist. This movement made it easier for Soonyoung to put his head on Joshua’s chess. 

“How about this? Are you comfortable?” He tried to reposition himself to make Soonyoung more secure as half his body was almost on top of him and he did not want his dear dongsaeng to feel any discomfort. 

When Soonyoung also wrapped his hand around his waist, he let out a sigh of relief. Soonyoung was still okay with touching people. The doctor had said something with a disorder that developed in some people who have experienced a shocking or dangerous event. 

For a case in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it was natural for a person to feel afraid after a traumatic situation. The doctor warned them that if Soonyoung ever reacted badly to a certain gesture, they should slowly help him to overcome his fear. 

“Hyung, I’m sorry that this had happened to me,” said Soonyoung softly. “I shouldn’t have gone to the convenience store.” He picked on Joshua’s t-shirt near the chess. “I was just trying to buy some milk to give to Jeonghan hyung. You know how he likes those strawberry milk cartons.”

Yeah, Joshua knew about that. Jeonghan loves to drink strawberry milk before going to bed. If there is any strawberry milk inside the fridge, Joshua can bet his life that it most probably belongs to him.

“It’s never your fault, Soonyoung. Don’t ever say sorry for that.” He tightened his hold on Soonyoung. “It will always be the fault of the offender. Always remember that.”

“But hyung-”

“You may not understand it right now. But when you feel a bit better, we are going to explain more to you. Only then you will understand.” Soonyoung wanted to argue more on the statement, but he just nodded his head as if he could be sympathetically aware of what Joshua was saying. In his head right now, this is always going to be his fault. He should not have gone out of the house during the night. Yes, this is definitely his fault.

Joshua started to hum a rhythm of a song that was very familiar to Soonyoung. 

The door opened up unannounced and made Soonyoung flinch a little when Jeonghan came into the room. Jeonghan, not noticing the slight movement just smiled at both of them. “Hi my dearest. I bet you guys are hungry. Want some soup?”

He carried a tray along with him and pushed the door back with a soft kick of his leg. Joshua just kept patting his back while Jeonghan arranged the tray on his bed carefully. “I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat Soonyoung. You haven’t eaten since yesterday,” said Jeonghan. He grabbed the spoon near the bowl. “I can feed you if you want. It has been a long time since we do that right?” 

Yes, it does. It has been quite some time since Jeonghan last fed Soonyoung. It was during one of his evaluation days when they were trainees. Soonyoung got sick but he had to perform to their trainer for their monthly singing test. He was so nervous he could not stomach any food for that day. Jeonghan tried to persuade him to eat because he was already sick and they could not afford anyone to be admitted to the hospital at that time. The company would charge them instead for the fees. 

Pledis was shit. But hey, the staff itself were great. Fortunately, times are better now. They just did not have the foundation to operate basic necessities before.

"I have your favourite kimchi too. You can eat them with the soup. Just how you like it.” Jeonghan already scooped up some of the soup. Soonyoung just stared at the directed spoon. He did not want to disappoint his hyung. 

So he slowly opened up his mouth and gulped down immediately whatever was in the soup. The soup was delicious but he did not have any appetite to indulge into the taste. The kimchi helped a little. 

“That’s a good boy,” Jeonghan smiled at him. “Shua-ya, I have toasts for you. You need to eat too.”

“Nahh, I’m fine,” said Joshua, still hugging Soonyoung from behind him. He acted as a back supporter for him to sit comfortably while he was eating. Jeonghan shot lasered eyes on Joshua. What the fuck, Josh? You were supposed to encourage him to eat by making yourself eat with him too, you idiot.

Joshua burst out into laughter. He knew exactly what Jeonghan was thinking and he was just teasing him to get his reaction. The annoyed face from Jeonghan really paid well for his trick. “Of course I’ll eat it. I was just trying to annoy you. He looks ridiculous right Soonyoung?”

Soonyoung just smiled throughout the interaction. He loved this so much. This good vibe that they were spreading just made his day a little brighter.

“I can’t believe you did that. Soonyoung dear, if it wasn’t for you sitting in between Joshuji’s legs now I would have kicked his ass .” Jeonghan swept away a hair strand that slipped on Soonyoung’s forehead. “You’re lucky that Soonyoung’s here with us.”

Joshua just smiled at that. Good. Soonyoung even let out a content sigh at their conversation. This would be the baby steps that they need to take to bring back Soonyoung’s spirit well. 

“Well, I need to wash up first before I eat. Soonyoung, would you mind me going out for a moment? Jeonghan will accompany you here for now.”

Soonyoung was hesitant to move, but he finally sat up straight to give Joshua some space for him to step away from the bed. Jeonghan saw his action and immediately went to fill the empty spot left by Joshua. Soonyoung immediately leaned back to his chest as if he did not want Jeonghan to move away from him. “Alright, you can continue eating now Soonyoung. I’m here.”

Soonyoung took his time to eat. After the fifth spoon, he put down the utensil and pushed away the bowl. “You’ve done?”

“Yeah, I don’t want it anymore.” Jeonghan put the spoon down on the table. He knew better than to force Soonyoung to eat more. It was already good that Soonyoung ate something on his own willingly. 

“Okay, do you want to continue sleeping or you want to do something else?” 

Soonyoung just stared at his hands in his lap. Jeonghan waited patiently for his answer. He wrapped his arms around Soonyoung’s waist and put his chin on his right shoulder. Soonyoung felt a little bit cold right now, so Jeonghan hoped he could give some warmth while waiting.

His precious boy, who was still looking at his hands, answered timidly.

“I would like to die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joshua's voice: "Surprise~"

**Author's Note:**

> Will update soon. In progress to rearrange chapters.


End file.
